When I lived in London, I worked quite a bit with young offenders aged 15–25 who were preparing to leave prison. They looked exactly like you’d imagine — young, confident, well-built guys who, for various reasons, had ended up in places like HMP Belmarsh, HMP Wandsworth, HMP Wormwood Scrubs or HMP/YOI Isis.

We ran workshops with them based on the idea of the Hero’s Journey 🦸‍♀️ . Over two or three days, the men got to know each other, opened up, and shared the highs and lows of their lives.

🫵 One of the final exercises was something we called “positive gossip.”
One by one, each participant sat on a chair in the corner, facing away from the group, not allowed to speak. The rest of the group had one task: to gossip about him — only positively, based on what they had learned over the last few days. Our job as facilitators was to write it all down on a flipchart.

Turned out, there was plenty to say. The flipchart quickly filled with comments like:
✔️ “He’s brilliant at math — I’ve never met anyone who got full marks on their GCSEs.”
✔️ “Nelson is super smart — the way he tells stories is incredible.”
✔️ “Salah’s got the best sense of humour — one sentence and I’m in stitches.”
✔️ “I’m into women, but Olin is seriously good-looking.”
✔️ “Tom should be an engineer — he explains how cars work like a pro.”

These tall, self-assured young men — most of them physically towering over me — sat quietly in that chair, often with tears in their eyes.

Someone had finally seen something good in them 🥰 . Someone had paid attention. Someone had noticed their talent.
Maybe… they were worth something after all? 😮 ♥️

Are you and I really so different from my prison clients? ❓
I don’t think so. ❌

✅ We all want to be seen.
✅ To feel like we matter.
✅ To hear, just once in a while, “Hey, I noticed something great about you.”

So if we must gossip — let’s flip the script 📑 . Spread the good stuff. Whisper the kind truths. Let someone hear their name in a sentence they never expected.

Or better yet, skip the whisper. Look someone in the eye and tell them what you see.

✳️ No performance. No fluff. Just truth.

It won’t cost you anything.
But for them — it might mean everything.

Because behind every polished LinkedIn profile, every confident handshake, every “I’m fine”… there’s a human being who wouldn’t mind hearing something good about themselves.

We’ve all got our shadows. But we’ve got gold in us too.

🌟 Shine a little light. See what happens.