One of my clients has a serious problem. After ten years of marriage, something started to change. She stayed at home with kids and he was running faster and faster in the corporate rate race.

 

Currently, he is a senior manager and she is still at home (already for a fifth year) with five, three and one year old kids. According to her feeling, he doesn’t treat her as a partner anymore. He is the smart one and she is just the “mummy”.

 

I am sad to say this, but such situation is less unusual than I would like it to be.

 

When we look from the outside we might assume that five years out of work might be long in case of some professions. We also note that it is not easy to organise the life of a three kid family with minimum help from the partner (he works) so if she lost some skills, she had to gain others at the same time. Etc. etc.

Let’s stop it here…

 

Does it really matter?

 

We are not talking about a boss and a subordinate. These are a husband and a wife. What they have lost on the way?

 

My client knows the best, however we all might have our own opinion.

 

I guess partnership, love, respect and maybe parenting is what should matter in this kind of relationship. The professional life, in my eyes, is not the central part of it.

 

Hard to achieve a change when you know that the only person you can change is yourself.

 

So, what can we suggest to my client and any other person in a similar situation?

 

Hmm…

 

This is the advice I heard from my husband that answers all my client`s doubts:

 

Work on your self-confidence, be yourself and keep going even if the steps seem to be smaller than you would like them to be. With time, your partner will appreciate it. 

Should you need a mate on your way to more successful life, I am here for you.