We are the champions! Or could be…
According to Eric Berne (the author of the theory of games) – at the age of about six, we make a preliminary decision what kind of person are we going to be when we grow up. We call it life script – unconscious but active decision what kind of life we are going to have.
There are three key life scripts that we can unconsciously follow:
- The winner – decides what he wants and achieves it. It is a person that is reliable and always meets his liabilities towards the world and himself. His language contains words like: I have decided, I am going to learn, sorry I made a mistake, I am going to fix it, consider it done.
- Non-winner – has the middle-of-the-road life script. He works very hard not because his goal is to win, but to end at least in a draw. Sometimes he sticks to his words, sometimes not, depending on the situation. Usually he doesn’t really believe he could be a winner in any game. We can hear from him: I cannot promise, almost, it’s not exactly what I wanted but let’s be grateful for that, I will try…
- Looser – is a victim of circumstances. He fails to achieve almost every goal, whatever it is. He has a lot of bad luck, makes improper decisions, picks demanding friends, often has no purpose in life or picks goals that are impossible to achieve. His words are: I have no idea, if, I do not want to, it’s useless, I forgot, it doesn’t matter at the end.
Marek Herman (2008) said that winner is a captain of the team and always has the most beautiful girl. Non-winner has the second beautiful girlfriend and is a vice captain, sometimes he wins sometimes not but it doesn’t matter because he is satisfied with an equal score. Looser never really had any girl and if he plays, he is always the first to loose.
Every one of us can pick his own league. You don’t have to play for Real Madrid to be a winner, you can be a captain of your school team. Being a winner is about desire and determination to win. Life script is a decision that we make early in childhood and somehow follow till now without a bigger reflexion.
As in many other similar cases it were our teachers or parents that in many ways suggested who we are. Fortunately, nothing in life is impossible, we can always stand up for ourselves and say:
With all respect, I know that I am a winner and I am going to do it my way and win!
Our future always depends on our decisions and desires, even if it means plenty of hard work on the way to our glory and satisfaction.
Sometimes to be back on track as a winner demands just a little reflection and self motivation. Oftentimes it costs my clients a lot of determination, energy and time but it is always worth it.
Should you need a guide on your way, it will be my pleasure.